"The Human Centipede": One of the most messed up ideas for a movie we've ever seen

Here's an article that I definitely couldn't run over at the Examiner, based solely on the nature of the subject matter.  There's a new horror film coming out soon, and lately it's been making the rounds at some film festivals and private showings around the country.  It's called "The Human Centipede: First Sequence", and it's gotta be one of the most twisted, horrific concepts ever used for a horror film.  If you think you can stomach it, read on, my precious snowflakes...

Okay, first off, look at that picture.  That's the poster for "The Human Centipede", which is an upcoming horror film that's got one of the sickest storylines I think I've ever heard from a horror film.  If you're still digesting your breakfast (and, oh, how that sentence will be even more disturbing in just a few paragraphs' time), you may wanna skip this post and head on down to the Letterman article.

Here's the basic concept: there's a mad scientist whose specialty is separating Siamese Twins.  The dude's basically gone crazy, and one day he decides that he wants to "change it up a bit" as far as work goes (that's him in the sunglasses on the poster).  In a plot that the poster tells us is "100% medically accurate" (which this writer has doubts about), the doctor kidnaps a trio of folks and then (here we go, are you ready?  Still not too late to turn back!  Don't say I didn't warn ye...) surgically connects them all together, a$$ to mouth, so that they all share one digestive tract.

I know, you're horrified.  And you're like, "What the f--- are we even talking about this for?"  Well, sir or ma'am, I told you it was gonna get all freaky up in this b-tch.  Remember what I said about not saying I didn't warn you?  Ya, well, there ya go.  Let's get back to the article.

So, the scientist has a Japanese dude and two American party-girl types that he happens to come across.  Much of the film depicts the three sewn together, trying to escape or otherwise stop what's going on.  There are apparently scenes that deal with precisely what you'd expect a film like this to deal with, making me wonder how the hell this thing is ever going to get the go-ahead from the MPAA.  Those people are nutsy about turning down stuff for being "too extreme", like boobies.  Exploding people?  No problem, "Saving Private Ryan".  Boobies? WHAT ARE YOU, A PERVERT?!

Here's a little, one-minute montage of scenes from the film.  There's no dialogue here, though there is a bit of blood, and what you're gonna see here may disturb you.  So, if you're not into horror films to begin with (As I am; whether or not I'm "into" this monkey business has yet to be determined), you may wanna just take my original advice and skip on down to that Letterman article, slappy.  Check it out:




Okay, yeah, that's pretty f----d up.

The early word on the film is surprisingly strong.  Devin Faraci of CHUD gave the film a solid review, and he's a critic that my tastes generally fall in line with.  He points out that this movie falls into the category of "body horror" films, the kinda stuff that Cronenberg has been doing for years (if you've seen, say, "ExistenZ" or "Videodrome"-- which is NOT to be confused with "Biodome"-- then you know what we're talking about here; "The Fly" also fell into this category, which basically makes extreme body modifications and mutilation its source for scariness).  I'm still skeptical, because any film that seems to coast along on the outrageousness of its premise almost always turns out to be an empty suit of a movie, but I'll probably be willing to give the thing a shot.

So, whatta you guys think?  Is this the most f----d up premise for a movie you've ever heard?  Would ya watch it?  Were you able to keep your breakfast down?  Let us know with a comment below.  And, while you're here, don't forget that you can find a bunch of other articles of mine over at the Examiner, where I'm the resident "Comedy Examiner".  Ah, NGFH, thank you for allowing me to write about something this jacked up this early in the day.