*** Kate Gosselin is telling Jon Gosselin to f--- off. As you all surely know by now, Jon is in the process of trying to get the couple's much-publicized divorce "postponed". You kinda get the impression by the way he's acting that when Jon says "postponed", what he really means is, "Holy s---, I'm about to lose my meal-ticket; let's put the brakes on this b-tch right now". This was news to Kate Gosselin, who issued some statement or another saying that the first she'd heard about it was online. Furthermore, she ain't budging. Jon Gosselin, you must have b-lls the size of my b-lls to try and pull of this maneuver. Weren't you on TV telling America that you "despise" your wife just a couple weeks ago? What a d-uche. And, what's this? TLC's threatening to sue him? I'll have more on that situation in a bit, but for now check out that article on Radar.
*** Speaking of d-uchebags, it's being reported that David Letterman was involved with an extortion case, wherein some giant d-uche tried to blackmail $2m out of him by threatening to go to press with a book (and-- I thought this was an odd detail-- a screenplay?!) that offered up details of Letterman's sexual exploits with female members of his staff. Dave wrote the dude a bogus check, got the cops involved, and then they arrested his ass. Apparently, Letterman was in court testifying about this morning. Here's what I'm wondering: is it really shocking to imagine that Letterman woulda nailed a few of the girls working in his office? I mean, the dude's one of the most powerful forces in comedy and late-night entertainment: are we to expect that he'd be a eunuch? There must have been a few, too, if he had enough material for a book. Bonus points to Letterman for keeping it quiet but still having the balls to get on TV and let everyone in on it. What I wouldn't give for some video of Letterman testifying in court against the assclown that tried to blackmail him.
*** Here's Michael Bay announcing a third "Transformers" movie for 2011. Really?! I don't know if any of you saw that cinematic abortion earlier this summer, but it was mind-blowingly awful. I didn't even see it in theaters-- I watched a bootleg of it online-- and still couldn't be bothered to finish it. I wasn't paying and I could not finish it: this is not a good sign for the quality of "Transformers 2". By the way, if you're law enforcement, I was totally joking about watching a bootleg of it online. These're just jokes!
*** Jay Leno is saying that other networks are "boycotting him". Here's the thing: other shows aren't happy about you and your network forsaking quality material in the name of making dolla-dolla bills, Jay. In fact, there's alot of people that are kinda bent outta shape about the fact that NBC went on record saying that the critics and detractors of the show could suck it, because even with a 1.5 ratings share the show would turn a huge profit for the network. Maybe if you want other people to play nice, you should let your bosses know not to be such blatant douche bags about what they're doing with their programming.
*** Straight from Fantastic Fest, this is Devin Faraci (of CHUD fame)'s review of "The Human Centipede: First Sequence". What's that? You haven't heard of "Human Centipede"? Oh, you will. It's about a crazed, mad scientist who decides to make his very own human centipede. You know, just for s---s and giggles. One might wonder how one would go about making a human centipede, and therein lies the big hook for the movie. In the film, the mad scientist surgically attaches three people together-- two girls and a Japanese dude-- by mouth-to-anus (Kevin Smith's gotta be thrilled that this is coming out soon). It's gotta be the most twisted idea for a body-horror film ("body-horror": see also the works of David Cronenberg, who incorporates horrific ideas and extreme body modification or mutilation in his films) that I've ever seen. The film apparently killed down in Austin at FF, and I gotta admit: I'm curious to see it. Look for some major whining from the fundamentalists when this atrocity gets released.
OK, that's it for now, folks. I still got two or three articles to write before bedtime. Check back often, and check back soon. And be sure to be checking in with my page over at the Examiner; I'm still running stuff over there. Thanks for coming by! Make sure to leave a comment or three in the feedback section below. It's our way of keeping track of you-- how else will we know you were ever here?
Cheers,
Scott Wampler
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment