"The Jay Leno Show": Total Clusterf--k

Since its debut, "The Jay Leno Show" has had one problem after another.  First it was the ratings: they started off with a huge opening-- 18m or so people, myself included, watched the opening night show-- and started going downhill almost immediately.  Then there was the critical reaction to the show, which was brutal to say the least.  Now Jay's claiming that the other major networks are "boycotting" his show by keeping their actors and talent off his program. What needs to happen here to save Jay's show?

For one thing, don't mistake my question for fan-based concern: I'm no fan of "The Jay Leno Show".  This dude's jokes are so old and bland, someone keeps threatening to put them in a home.  Can you believe that Jay's still doing that f---ing atrocious "Headlines" bit?  Seriously, he did it on the first episode.  A misprint or play on words in a headline isn't comedy, Jay: it's embarrassing.  The only people that find the "Headlines" bit amusing gave up on comedy long, long ago, so screw 'em, anyway.  If you think "Headlines" is a funny bit, kill yourself.

That sounded harsh, and I apologize.  Perhaps death is a bit much.  Fair enough: if you think "Headlines" is a funny bit, you are grounded from ever entering any discussion relating to comedy for the rest of your life.  If someone's discussing a movie they saw that they found to be particularly funny, you are not allowed to comment.  If someone tells you a joke, you are not allowed to laugh.  If someone asks you what your favorite comedy is, you are to look at the ground and burst into tears, shrieking, "I can only love 'Headlines'!"

Because NBC's been so smug about the fact that "The Jay Leno Show" is going to be an ATM for them, it's hard to drum up any sympathy for the network.  They went outta their way to make sure everyone knew they didn't give a s--- that no one thought the show was funny, and now they're surprised when other networks aren't gonna play ball with them?  Screw off, NBC.  Just don't do anything to "The Office" and we won't have to burn your building to the ground.

It's doubtful that "The Jay Leno Show" is gonna pull outta this nosedive.  What's more likely is that it'll plateau, hitting a low number-- 1.5 sounds too low; my guess is 1.8-- and then staying there until someone gives it the "Old Yeller" and puts a bullet in its head.  But didn't NBC lock Jay up for, like, eternity in his new contract?  I'm relatively sure that if you had a time machine, skipped ahead a decade, and flipped on the TV at 9pm you'd find Jay still doing that god-awful "Headlines" bit.  And it still wouldn't be funny.

Guess we'll just have to wait and see.  I ran a poll on the Examiner asking people what they thought of the show, and at the time I took a count of the votes the show was reading at 65% of viewers saying it was "unfunny".  That's a helluva percentage.  So, I'm curious: if you're reading this website, what's your opinion of Jay's show?  I bet the percentage is even higher; anyone that woulda followed my writing from the Examiner to here would surely not be a fan of Jay's.  Sound off in the comments section, my precious snowflakes.  I'm curious to hear what you have to say.

Until next time, don't forget that I'm still running articles over on The Examiner.  Check out my Examiner page here, which is constantly updated with whatever I've written most recently.  And don't forget to bookmark NiceGuyForHire, too: we're gonna have reviews, interviews, articles, and recaps that you won't be able to get over at the Examiner. You may as well bite the bullet and hit the "Follow" button up top.

Cheers,
Scott Wampler